Japanese Toilets

It is 4AM now and I am attempting to make good use of my inability to sleep through the night. So, you might be able to expect more frequent posts during the upcoming week as I am getting used to the time change. Japan is 13 hours ahead. But I cant make any promises. I cant figure out how to use apostrophes, question marks or other symbols on this computer yet so I will leave it to you to put them in when appropriate.
So far in my trip, I have used 3 different types of toilets. There is your standard American toilet, which I have seen about a third of the time. The second kind, and more interesting kind, is the Toto toilet. It is in about 70 percent of Japanese homes and is a symbol of wealth to have it in your bathroom. Last weeks Economist had an article about how the president of Toto is trying to sell these toilets abroad. So, it looks like a standard American toilet but with several more functions. When you are sitting down, on your right there is a remote control attached to the toilet. There are about 5 or 6 buttons that have pictures on them with the Japanese translations below. Clearly, the translation has not helped me so I have needed to do some investigative work. There is a button that has a picture of a butt with water getting squirted up it. The function will stop working when you press the stop button. The third button is for the bidet. The fourth button has muscial notes on it and you can play it either while on the toilet to muffle sounds or during the flush. You can also adjust the volume of the music as needed. Lastly, there is a button that you can press to spray scents that will mask odors. The 3rd type of toilet is a squat toilet. Now, when I used this in The National Museum of Art in Ueno yesterday, I couldnt figure out which way to sit. Apparently, you are supposed to squat as you are facing the door. S kindly pointed this out to me as I came out of the bathroom with a look or horror on my face. Lessons were learned.